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Intentionally manipulating a guy or playing games will always backfire because no guy wants to feel like he’s being yanked along on a destination-less journey.

Plus, he’ll be able to see right through what you’re doing and it will come across as desperate, which is the ultimate turnoff.

If this is true, those men in the white coats should have been on me like white on rice. I had a very needy mindset and I derived way too much of my self-worth from how men responded to be. (To know what it does look like, check out this article: 10 Things Confident People Do Differently in Dating and Relationships.) It took a long time to realize I needed to stop prioritizing guys above myself, at least until he started treating like a priority.

When you are overly accommodating to him then he doesn’t feel a real push or motivation to step up and invest in you. You know you can get to it at any time so you don’t really feel an urgency.

Since Craig and I lived somewhat of a distance away (maybe about 40 minutes) I went out of my way to see him when it was convenient for him.

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If you want to know exactly what makes a man commit and how to make him commit to you (and only you), then take a look at this article here: MORE: 4 Ways To Make Him Commit and Want Only You I met this guy years ago, let’s call him Craig.

By that, I mean fill your life with fun, meaningful activities.

And do not cancel any of these fun, meaningful activities just because he calls and wants to see you.

So yes you want men to pursue you, and if you are confident this will naturally happen, but you don’t want to intentionally get him to chase you because this is just neediness all dressed up.

When you are truly confident and independent, he won’t take you for granted, he won’t vanish for days at a time, he won’t tell you he “doesn’t want a relationship” and continue treating you as girlfriend anyway – instead, he will lock it down because he’ll be too scared someone else will snatch you up if he doesn’t!




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